I’m on a mission, I’ve been on it as long as I can remember, it’s a quest to find the truly perfect. The perfect song or poem that can express the deepest longings of my heart. The perfect sermon that will catapult me into a state of spiritual ecstasy. The perfect relationship to fill my empty heart. The success my soul craves from a perfect vocation. The perfect time, food, movie, book, sunset- the list goes on and on. And I have found some beautiful poems, I have heard some stunning preachers, and read some incredibly charming stories. I have become more complete though relationships, found the reward of success worth the pain of hard work, and I have watched glorious sunsets. But I’ve never found the perfect; the thing that can answer the cry of a heart in a broken world for one thing that’s not been tainted by the brokenness of earth.
Even my walk with the Lord is affected by this deep desire for a sense of the complete. I see Him ‘in a mirror darkly,’ yet I cannot truly see God. I believe in Jesus as my savior, though I’ve never been really filled with Him. In those few, brief times when you can almost feel His presence- they are glorious- but they only last for a moment and then they are gone. There must be more to a walk with God. For the majority of my days, communing with the Lord is felt as a duty to perform, just like brushing my teeth. This is not the fullness I long after.
When I look honestly into my heart I realize that it will never be filled. Not in the way I want it to be at least. Sure there are many wonderful moments- sitting with your best friend in a garden at dusk, or gathering around the Christmas tree with your brothers, sisters, and parents early in the morning- and in those beautiful slips of time I can almost believe that the perfect really does come down to man. Yes there is joy to be found in worshiping the Lord and a knowledge of His love for me. And of course I have lots of interests, ambitions, and memories that make life taste sweet. Yet the harsh reality is that all these things in and of themselves will not fill the insatiable lust of my soul to be fully satisfied.
The emptiness of this existence haunts me. I want to feel as if this world will last forever, it won’t. I want to think that what I do today will affect history till the end of time, but to tell the truth a hundred years from now people won’t know or even care that I existed, and if they did it wouldn’t do me any good because I’d be dead.
Something C.S Lewis wrote has been permanently burned into my mind that often helps bring some relief when these questions overwhelm me, he writes: “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
Another world, ah, a place in which everything I did on earth counts forever. A place in which I’ll be, like the Psalmist “…satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.” Made perfect, living in perfection, and daily beholding the perfect One- forever.
With this perspective, the little joys of life, the victories and successes, tears and failures, the brief glimpses of God and the times of waiting can all be seen as a kind of down payment of the perfect happiness to come. The best is yet to be.
But now I must ask myself the question; “do I want to wait to have a perfect life in some future existence?” To truly answer that I’d have to say a brutal “no.” I want to have my cake and eat it too. But that’s not an option. So I’m left trying to aim for heaven and mostly succeeding in hitting earth.
Reflective Wanderer 
We too are sooo longing for the day we enjoy that WONDERFUL PLACE together with the Lord Jesus!! Thank you sooo much for sharing this with us sweet Alexander!!❤️🌻🌈🌻
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We too are sooo longing for the day we enjoy that WONDERFUL PLACE together with the Lord Jesus!! Thank you sooo much for sharing this with us sweet Alexander!!❤️🌻🌈🌻
We love ya buddy!
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Thanks for sharing this, Alex. You have a special ability in communicating deep thoughts in a way that touches the hearts of others!
Could I share with you some observations from Psalm 17 that would hopefully be an encouragement to you as well?
First, in terms of the context, David is crying out to God (vs 1).
Why? Because of those who rose up against him (vss 7, 9-12).
He was asking God to deliver him from the wicked (vs 13-14).
He expected God to hear him and deliver him (vs 6).
Where was this taking place? On the earth.
Where did David expect God to deliver him? On the earth.
But wait, was that really true? Did he really expect God’s deliverance on the earth? Or was he saying, Well, I will pray, and I know God will hear me. I could be killed by those who rise up against me, but then I’ll go to heaven and be with God forever.
Hmm. Which is it?
Well, it does seem pretty obvious that David wanted to be delivered from his enemies here on earth. Reading about David’s life, we see that God did that for him many times.
But just to make sure, we could look at the word “awake” in verse 15. Does it mean wake up in the morning after sleeping at night, or does it mean going to heaven?
It is the Hebrew word “quwts,” and the meaning conveys “the idea of abruptness in starting up from sleep.” Yes, it could be used figuratively, as in awaking from the slumber of death. But this figurative use only makes sense because the word actually means waking up from sleep, and you could compare death to sleep.
In Psalm 17:15, given the context, if the word “quwts” meant waking up from the slumber of death, then David would be expecting to be killed by his enemies. Personally, that causes me to stop and think…
This just doesn’t make sense with the rest of his prayer… “Keep me as the apple of Your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings [while I am being killed by the wicked].”
I know life doesn’t always make sense. I know we do pray for God to heal and sometimes He doesn’t, and we don’t know why, and it doesn’t seem right or fair at all.
So, in light of that reality, I am trying to make a case here for maybe the idea that David is talking about waking up in heaven. But I can’t. I keep coming back to the idea that God really is going to deliver him from his enemies, and he is going to wake up from a regular sleep the next morning.
So, with that as a presupposition, take a look at verse 15.
NKJV: “As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.”
KJV: “As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness:
I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.”
NASB: “As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness;
I will be satisfied with Your likeness when I awake.”
ESV: “As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;
when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.”
Hebrew root words: saba [be satisfied] temuwnah [likeness] quwts [awake]
I do not know how cases, etc. work in Hebrew. I don’t know if it’s like Greek where one verb carries not only the meaning of the verb, but who is doing it, whether it’s active or passive, present or past, continuing or one time.
I’ll just assume that somehow the form of “saba” here includes the “I will” with “be satisfied.”
Likewise, “temuwnah” may be in some type of case that would necessitate some preposition and pronoun in English. At any rate, in the four versions mentioned above, the word “temuwnah” is translated either “in Your likeness” or “with your/Your/thy likeness.” Some versions (e.g. ASV and RSV) insert another word – “beholding.” The ASV puts this additional word in italics to indicate it was added to the original; the RSV does not.
But anyway…
The KJV, NASB, and ESV all use the word “with,” while the NKJV uses the word “in.” To be satisfied with something is synonymous with being satisfied in something.
Now here is a very important thing to notice – the phrase “in/with Your likeness” goes with “I shall be satisfied,” in terms of its meaning – “saba” “temuwnah” “quwts”. That is, “I shall be satisfied with/in Your likeness.” When? – “when I awake”!
However, it can be confusing if the words are placed in a certain order without commas (as in the NKJV). “I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness” can seem to say “I will awake in Your likeness, and then I will be satisfied,” when it is actually saying “I will be satisfied with Your likeness… when I awake” (as in the KJV, NASB, and ESV).
What I believe David is saying is this:
God, please hear me! I am crying out to you for help! Please deliver me from my enemies! They are… thus and so, and have done… such and such. But as for me, I will see Your face in righteousness NOW, and EVEN WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING I will be satisfied with You!
This is a really big thing! We can know that God is right here with us, very personally, in a very real way, right now, and in the morning, too!
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